Gabi na naman. Well this is a different night since tapos na ang first sem ko dito sa Taiwan, nakasurbayb din ng isang semestre sa ibang bansa. Just finishing my bottle of beer at kakatapos ko lang makipagusap sa barkada ko na nagpunta sa Japan last week for a training ng kanyang company. Then sakto din na nabuhay ulit ang Korea at BML sa Manang Adang’s Cyber Store. Usap usap tungkol sa dyspepsia ni Van na kanina pang hapon pinaguusapan. Sarap nga naman ng usapang ganun lalo na kapag cyber conference. As usual, imbisibol ako kasi ayaw ko muna makipag usap sa isang tao gawa nang gusto kong pakiramdaman kung ano talaga ang pakay sa akin. Tikoy nga ba? O sinusubukan lang ang aking pag-ibig (pang telenobela mga linya, nak nang tinapang tipaklong!). Tutuloy na sana ang usapan ng biglang….

 

Katie: miss u

What da? hayop sa pambungad na linya. Kakaiba! Teka, itutukish ko muna sa mga kasama ko sa cyberstore. haha. natatawa naman ako sa mga reply nila, baka nga tikoy at siomai na naman ang kailangan nito. Sama ko talaga. Ngunit napatingin ako, may missed event sa messenger program na gamit ko. Nako, nagmisscall ang babaita at pumasok. halata ako masyado na nakaimbisibol ako at nagtatago, kasi di papasok ang mga message at calls kung nakaoffline mode ako. kaso pumasok. halata na ako. wait lang, maya eh online mode ako para di halata na nagtatago ako. usap muna ako sa tindahan. ayan. pede na mag online mode…

 

Katie: hi..
Olof: hello
Katie: i miss u (kakaiba talaga ang pambungad, ano ba maipaglilingkod ko? kailangan mo ng tikoy? langya, nagtatawanan na kaming nasa tindahan sa sinasabi mo)
Olof: missing you too… (naks. epek op cors)
Olof: uhm… how are you?
Katie: i m good
Katie: thank u
Katie: how about u
Olof: bit fine (oo, drama ng kaunti at nagulo ang kautakan ko gawa mo)
Katie: good
Katie: i like u..because u r always nice to me (hhmm, parang iba yata ang patutunguhan nito. baka gastos na naman. sabi ng mga tao sa tindahan eh baka kailangan daw ng tikoy para sa pamilya. lapit na kasi Chinese new year)
Katie: thanks
Olof: your welcome… (op cors, i need to complement din naman sinabi nya)
Katie: so u r in winter vacation?
Olof: yup, just delivered my last report for this semester this morning (and quite successful, joker ang grupo nang tao na nagreport kasi huling meeting ng lab por da sem)
Katie: ic
Katie: so u can have time to be with me all the time right
Katie: u said
Katie: we need time
Katie: to be together
Katie: that what u mean
Katie: am i right
Olof: yeah
Katie: nothing say to me
Katie: no more love? (haha! ang tagal ko kasing nakikipag chikahan sa mga tao na naguusap sa cyber tindahan. ayan tuloy nadale ka sa linya na yan!)
Olof: well i mean we could have the time together (prepared ko na itong sagot na ito. can’t get caught off guard this time)
Katie: ok
Katie: good
Olof: but may i say something? (gusto kitang tapatan sa isang bagay since gusto mo akong makasama ngayong sembreak ko…)
Katie: go ahead
Olof: uhm, its not that i no longer can treat you out to dinner or something… its just if its ok with you, can we sometime split the bill when we go out?
Olof: not all the time but just sometime maybe… (hell yeah!!! kapal ng mukha ko! nasabi ko ito ng di oras!!)
Katie: o
Olof: ? (so what’s your side on what i asked)
Katie: u r the first one tell me this (naknakan ng tinapang tipaklong! wooohoooo! kapal muks talaga ako!!)
Katie: ic
Olof: its not all the time i mean… (oo nga, paminsan minsan lang naman, when the bill is too big)
Katie: ic
Katie: but u r the first one tell me this (oo na, makapal na mukha ko. aminado ako!)
Olof: if its not ok with you, its ok…
Olof: i’ll just find some alternative ways (compromise at babawi na ako)
Olof: just tell me
Katie: ok
Olof: so?
Olof: not ok with you i guess… (tagal mo naman kasi magreply eh, namamatay na ako sa kakatawa gawa ng kausap ko sa tindahan ni adang)
Katie: m
Olof: so not ok with you?
Katie: no ok with me (good! lusot na!)
Katie: make me feel weird…no one ask me this before (PINOY AKO!!! kaya weirdo! iba kasi kultura ko sa kultura mo. isaw nga lang at tokneneng eh solb na kami)
Olof: sorry if i made you feel weird…
Olof: ? (tagal mo naman magreply, anu ba ginagawa mo?)
Katie: question mark for what (nako, di pa nagets. tsk)
Olof: im sorry if i made you feel weird (por da second time ko na ito sinabi ah)
Katie: that’s ok
Olof: well im just being myself…. you said it to me yesterday “just be myself” (oo nga, nagpapakatotoo lang naman ako sa iyo at sa sarili ko, tulad ng sinabi mo sa akin kahapon, di ba?)
Katie: ok
Olof: just being myself, i’ll be honest with you always…
Olof: no matter how hard the truth is
Katie: ok
Olof: uhm does this affect anything on you?
Katie: no (buti naman)
Olof: because i feel there is…
Katie: i m same as before
Katie: because i m myself
Olof: ok…
Olof: well anyway, i appreciate that you miss me…
Katie: u r welcome
Katie: miss u
Katie: love u (ISANG MALAKING “WHAT”????)
Olof: I love you too (teka lang ha, kakausapin ko muna ang nasa cyber tindahan, at napapaganda ang usapan namin gawa ng usapan natin na ito)
Olof: I can’t believe what i am reading…
Katie: then don’t read it (suplada mo naman, di lang ako makapaniwala sa nabasa ko eh)
Olof: i believe it…. (bawi naman agad, hihi)
Olof: its just… overwhelming…. (oo nga, kakaiba, naknakan talaga ng tinapang tipaklong sinabi mo, abot tenga ang ngiti ko dito, gusto ko tumawa ng malakas)
Olof: so we’re a couple now?
Katie: don’t know (bakit di mo alam? nag “lab u” ka na eh)
Katie: u said
Katie: u need time
Olof: well i need time to find that special thing that you wish for… (that’s the time that i need, di basta basta hinihingi mo)
Olof: but i don’t need time to love you…. express my love for you… i mean since i told you that i love you, i already made up my mind during that time… to love you. (naks naman! walang kamatayang pag-ibig!)
Katie: um..
Katie: so
Olof: so…
Katie: what
Olof: uhm, my heart’s pounding…. (oo, ako’y nagulat! nabigla! natulala! natatawa! kinakabahan sa mga pinagsasabi mo!)
Olof: all i could say is I love you so much, Katie
Katie: ok
Olof: so what do you feel now?
Katie: happy
Katie: same
Katie: as before (ganun. pusong bato ka yata eh)
Olof: i see….
Olof: im happy too, that you do trust me that much now
Olof: you there? (tagal mo na naman magreply)
Katie: i never said
Katie: i don’t trust u
Olof: well what i mean is you have trusted me before but now, i feel that the intensity or the degree of your trust is greater than before
Katie: i have to find the way
Katie: because u r different than others whom i met before
Olof: find way on what? (oo nga, find ways on what? ganun na ba ako kakaiba? kumbaga sa puti ako ay itim)
Olof: ?
Katie: nothing
Katie: anyway
Katie: love u (POR DA 2nd TIME!!! WHAT???!!! MAHAL MO NA BA TALAGA AKO?)
Olof: I love you too….
Olof: you accept the fact that i am different?
Olof: different from others?
Olof: ?
Katie: from my exbf
Katie: or other friends
Katie: doesn’t matter (do i read this as “yes you are different but i don’t care?”)
Katie: forget it
Olof: ok….
Olof: i understand that when you said to me that you love me, its all in there…
Katie: sorry
Katie: dont’ get it
Olof: i mean the phrase “I love you” means a lot…
Katie: love u
Katie: is only for couple
Katie: that’s it
Katie: easy and simple
Katie: nite
Katie: bye (her last five lines can be read as “tanga, ang “lab u” ay para sa couple lang, so meaning, kaya ko sinabi yun kasi couple na tayo”…. tanga tanga mo naman Olof!!)
Olof: wait
Olof: we see each other tomorrow?
Olof: ? (wala na, offline mode na. tawagan ko nga)

What da??? I don’t believe it. She said “lab u” sa akin. Well theoretically and conceptually, kami na nga. Pero i need to test out the hypothesis bukas. kung paano nya ako itreat bukas. Anyway, mukhang nagulantang din ang mga tao sa cyber tindahan. well kausapin ko muna.

Pero in fairness, justice is so sweet talaga. I think my efforts have already been justified. Justice is really sweet. Sana naman tama ang mga pinagsasabi nitong babae na ito kundi yari na naman ako. Pero, thinking of it, maybe she means it. She’s just confused probably because I’m quite different from others. “Weird” nga raw ako. Well probably her perception of my culture which is I’m proud of naman. Plus of course, she said that magpakatotoo ako sa kanya so deretsahan na sinuggest ko na split the bill kami paminsan minsan. What’s wrong with that di ba? Its not wrong naman to help the guy to shoulder the bill. Women of today shout for gender equality, but not this one. Though of course, its ok for me to shoulder the whole bill since I still love to practice chivalry and being a gentleman, but when survival sets in, I have to make some compromises. Anyway, enough of that, I believe on what she said. So let it be. If she does truly love me, she has to accept the different things that she sees on me, whatever they are. Because one of the ultimate things that love could do is to accept things no matter what they are. I may be different from her ex bf (which died three years ago because of a vehicular accident) or from the other guys that she know, but one thing is for sure that she would not go wrong, I truly love her. Anyway, its been a meaningful first semester here in Taiwan. I hope by tomorrow, as we meet, everything would be different on the way we act on each other. I pray that whatever I am nor matter how different I am from others, she would accept me if she says that she loves me.